


Show Me the Stars

by sue_denimme



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 07:59:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sue_denimme/pseuds/sue_denimme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor's thoughts at the end of Planet of the Dead. (Spoilers for that episode.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show Me the Stars

She comes running up, all shining eyes and eager smile and swinging hair, and I know that look. I've seen it more times than I can count. It's not because the police are hovering in the background waiting for UNIT to finish with her so they can cart her off to prison. She's not panicking, looking for an easy escape from justice. She wants to come with me. Really wants it.

"Come on, Doctor. Show me the stars."

Here we go again.

What is the attraction? What do they all think this is, the Happy Train to Adventure Town?

Well, there's the travelling through space and time, seeing the wonders of the universe, et cetera, et cetera, in the company of a brilliant and handsome alien. I get that part.

And she fancies me. She made that clear enough, if that kiss was anything to go by. Can hardly blame her, can I? But I've been there, done that. Not doing it again.

Anyway, is all that really worth everything else? 

Has it occurred to her that it might not all be spectacular nebulas and pleasure planets and friendly aliens and jolly evenings with historical figures? That it's a life filled with stress, pain, terror, running, getting possessed and threatened and held hostage? "Hypnotized right, left, and center, never knowing if you're coming or going or being," as I think Sarah Jane once put it. Doesn't she realize it might change her forever, and not necessarily in a good way? Has she thought that perhaps she might end up physically or psychologically damaged, memory-wiped, or even dead?

Likes things extreme, does she? She's been to one alien planet, and she thinks she knows what extreme is. She has no idea. I ought to take her to talk to Martha. Or Tegan. Or Dodo. Or Peri. Or Jack. Maybe let her get a look at Donna, from a safe distance. And Jamie and Zoe. Tell her about Adric, and Sara Kingdom, and poor little Katarina. See how keen she is then.

Of course, she's clever and brave. They all are. She's got some... interesting skills, too, skills that might come in useful. I could do worse than her. And I did say we make quite a team. I said a lot of things. Doesn't mean she should take it as some kind of promise.

It's been a while since I've been on my own for so long. It's lonely, yeah. I suppose so, anyway. The TARDIS is different these days. Cooler, since she only has my comfort to consider. Darker. Quieter. And I don't land quite as often as I used to. Usually it's only when I detect something that should be investigated, or the TARDIS gets tired of me rattling around her corridors, poking at her innards. I don't do much sightseeing or exploring for its own sake, not anymore. Not much point, or at least there doesn't seem to be, not without someone to show it all to.

But I'm fine. I'm managing. I come across things happening or about to happen that should be stopped, and I stop them. Business as usual. There's always a temporary ally, someone to run with, to bounce ideas off of. The only difference is that when everything's over, I leave and they stay. No mess, no fuss. I don't have to adjust to their quirks, and they don't have to adjust to mine. Easy peasy.

Every once in a while, of course, one of them does want to come with me. Or thinks they do.

It was strange at first, hearing myself telling them no. I never used to say no. I never thought I'd want to, or need to. Especially this incarnation, with its love of company.

Yet there's not even a hint of hesitation when I say no to Christina.

She's hurt. Disappointed. Growing up in the aristocracy hasn't exactly prepared her for rejection, I imagine. But she doesn't whine or beg. She's too dignified for that, too strong. She argues, but when she finally realizes I won't be persuaded, she simply asks, "Why not?"

I look her in the eyes and tell her what I've told everyone else.

"People have travelled with me and I've lost them. Lost them all. Never again."

As she's flying off in the bus, I do think about what could have been. Laughter, arguments, camaraderie, maybe even love. I also think about what else could have been. Horror, suffering, separation, death.

Hard to believe it's taken so long for the lesson to sink in. But I get it now, I really do.

From now on, I'm going to make sure that the only one paying the price for my education is me.

 

~end


End file.
